Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me to propose by telling me that the sooner we get married, the sooner she'll get pregnant and hence the sooner we can eat the placenta. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML
Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my fiancée is convinced that I just want to marry her to get a green card, so she doesn’t want to marry me anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML
Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying, "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML
Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML
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Top comments
GhostFox 34
I... what the ever loving ****? Why would you even DO that, let alone why would it be phrased as if it were supposed to be a good thing?
loserman67 36
RUN.... run fast, run far...
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Comments (22)
InfiniteSecret 20
Run, run far far away and don't look back. Seriously get away as fast as possible
Lobby_Bee 18
That's absurd thinking. Doesn't she know you can purchase placenta online? They are pricey and will cost you around 6 iPhone X for a small one and 10 for a large.
pjsr 33
Celibacy never looked as attractive as it does right now
Justincolon22 15
That's hilarious.
laurellkawes 31
Tell her that you're fastforwarding to the divorce.
onceuponatime456 16
Bye bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run as fast as you can!
YallDeservedItJk 22
Don't knock it 'til you try it! Maybe you could save some for your baby, too.
James C White II 8
It's a trap run
demix_fml 32
WTF.......
donb23 23
Wait...what? Are you two in a cult?