Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jSOPURE 3
You had bad breath? ;)
render 0
Wow lmao, that must feel terrible. (Hey, I remember I checked "Yes" to this FML while moderating!)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
notsousual 0
Well think of it this way, at least he walked you to the door instead of slowing down to 10mph and pushing your ass out of the car. :P
Art_Vandeley 0
I would have done the same thing. A little slap on the ass so what?!
rebboy_2008 0
If you gave him head he probably just didn't want to kiss the mouth that just had his **** in it. Just saying, he probably just doesn't like the taste of dick.
Justinc_ 0
Maybe you should have brushed your teeth after gargling his balls? Just a suggestion.
Leviathan_fml 0
maybe he didn't know what to do?
m0nicam0nster 0
I think it was just an awkward time for both of you. The same happened to me. We were comfortable, it was great, but its still the first time....ya know? It will get less awk.
adreamdesigned 0
Hmm.. your life isn't ****** or anything, but at the same time that's kinda harsh. I agree the above poster, he probably felt awkward, and afterward he probably felt bad about not giving you a kiss.
sillypun 0
#8 is on the right track. no guy wants to make out with you after the *******. "don't have sex man. sex leads to kissing and pretty soon you actually have to start talking to them"
skatingweasel 0
Hah, his way of telling you to try harder next time.
jarofarts 0
maybe he realized he's gay.