Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
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Top comments
floozle702 7
I wonder what he would have done if you said yes to both...
DocBastard 40
I imagine your dad to be like Captain Oveur from "Airplane!": "Do you like gladiator movies? Do you like when your dog grabs your leg and runs up and down? Ever seen a grown man naked?"
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Comments (43)
CareFace 16
Because pepper.
onorexveritas 24
its obvious...
IHaveNoKoolAid 10
When I read this I imagined a little kid having a tantrum
mangoboy1 19
Well, why not?
ElizaZee 9
Wow. What I kind dad. I would be a bit nervous around him though....
perdix 31
And that's from "a little too much to drink?" What happens when he gets drunk -- does he go out raping and pillaging?
chanellgymnast 17
Ask your dad WHY he always has to ask you random questions when he gets really drunk.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Your dad needs some help.
FightMyLiger 19
What's your reason for living? Awesome question. Be grateful your dad wants to get to know you better. Some dads don't give a shit.
ihaveasushicat 24
But... he's drunk... Most of the time, drunk people can't remember what they did in their drunken state.
FightMyLiger 19
That's not true. I remembered to check back on my comment, didn't I?
lordslaya53 14
That's right drugs ain't cheap!