Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML
Today, while out for a jog, I noticed that you never know how fast you run until you're being followed by someone in a car you don't know, and they're continuously honking at you. I later found out it my dad in his new car. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
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Top comments
WolfKing501 0
Fun dad you got their lol
Thanatos1206 0
That's when you slash his tires and leave a note saying "Are you tired of driving?"
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Comments (218)
youshitme 9
I LOVE your Dad!!
makitokito 14
smart dad
maddy1028 0
your dad Is awesome!
be2tymee 0
You should of thrown something at the car :P
kittennn 0
You obviously look like you could do with the exercise. ?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Not necessarily... maybe the dad's just a dick. Use your head - there is usually more than one option in every situation.
kittennn 0
Calm down ?
5t3ff1k4h 47
If you think my comment was full of rage, you've got a lot to learn.
kittennn 0
Someone obviously doesn't have a sense of humour.
5t3ff1k4h 47
LOL, right. Because your sense of humour is just -so- fantastic, you know? If your comment was funny, I would have laughed at it. Unfortunately it wasn't, and you're taking mine way too seriously. I think you need to take your own advice and "calm down".
bankrupt 15
Sounds like my dad. When I first started high school he'd drive by me every day as I was walking to the bus stop. He totally ignored me, but every day he'd stop to pick up the girls who lived across the street from us and give them door-to-door service to the school. Even with those three bitches in the car there was still room for me but I didn't get a ride because he was trying to 'teach me a lesson about sharing and being nice to others.' If anyone needed lessons about being nice it was those three nasty, vicious bitches who of course rubbed my nose in it. We moved the next year or I would have had to put up with that for four years since the youngest bitch was my age. My dad is such an asshole.
tye719 0
hahahahaha lol.
lidemocr 0
wow. angry and alone in life a little bit? get over it.
slinginmac14 0
sure, thats the lesson he was trying to teach u. we'll stick with that.
KGabehart9 0
Winning.
KiwiDingo 0
epic win to your dad!
Atlantico 0
hahahaha!!!
codestar 0
"Dad of the Year," right there.