Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Today, like every day since the new neighbors moved into the townhouse next door, their newborn won’t stop crying. The room the two toddlers and newborn are in apparently shares a wall with my bedroom, so I hear crying while I work remote, study remote, and try to sleep. FML
Today, I found out that my partner intentionally acts like she sleeps through our baby's cries in the middle of the night, just to force me to do all the late night feeds and diaper changes. FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
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Top comments
Xquisite1 28
For all of you saying "it's her choice" you're right but also realize thats this is a a major issue in a marriage and can lead to divorce. It's unfair for him to force her to become a mother and it's also unfair for her to expect him to spend the rest of his life without ever knowing what it's like to become a father (if he stays with her). Children don't suck, it's all in how you raise and discipline them.
okieraider71 4
Very smart woman. Very intellegent way to make her point. I hope you think about the point she is making. Babies are "No Refunds-No Returns".
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Comments (249)
SheriPutz 0
That's hilarious
lemonzone25 17
Aw. :( That's so sad. It must be terrible to have a partner who does not wish to have children with you. FYL, OP. Maybe adpotion will work? You could adopt a toddler so the crying wouldn't be as constant :)
iChel413 6
babies are great :) mine only wakes up at night for 5 mins to eat then goes back to bed.
jessikerz07 0
i think thats messed up, i hope she comes around for you
some_girl9 8
OP's wife FTW!!!! It's nice to see a girl who actually gets what life is like with those little *****!
nela25 23
hahahahahaha your wife is awesomee x)
newlove_fml 0
Wow. When did FML get this shallow? He doesn't deserve it for wanting a kid. He can have an opinion. The wife can have hers too. Doesn't mean she needs to be so rude about it.
phantumgrey 6
Divorce her. You deserve a kid if you want one
LadyEmi 15
Yeah who can blame her? Kids are ******* parasites!
ILoveZombieBoys 13
I see she made her point but she didn't have to do that. It's a little rude