Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Today, like every day since the new neighbors moved into the townhouse next door, their newborn won’t stop crying. The room the two toddlers and newborn are in apparently shares a wall with my bedroom, so I hear crying while I work remote, study remote, and try to sleep. FML
Today, I found out that my partner intentionally acts like she sleeps through our baby's cries in the middle of the night, just to force me to do all the late night feeds and diaper changes. FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
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Top comments
Xquisite1 28
For all of you saying "it's her choice" you're right but also realize thats this is a a major issue in a marriage and can lead to divorce. It's unfair for him to force her to become a mother and it's also unfair for her to expect him to spend the rest of his life without ever knowing what it's like to become a father (if he stays with her). Children don't suck, it's all in how you raise and discipline them.
okieraider71 4
Very smart woman. Very intellegent way to make her point. I hope you think about the point she is making. Babies are "No Refunds-No Returns".
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Comments (249)
fukthislife 0
if you ever have kids, ull know she a bad mother.
nickb93 0
she wins hahaha
anonymous1109 4
you're lucky she didn't play the recorded tape at 12, 2, 4 and 6.
DistantSun119 0
I feel like the wife in that scenario. Me and my wife are both 22 years old, and to my horror she said to me the other day, if it was up to her, we'd already have kids. FML
smorkmo 6
um he's not "forcing her" she just chose to be a bitch with how she handled the situation. Also dude ya shoulda talked about that before ya married the bitch, its called good communication. you could have found that out before hand and not married her cuz that is HUGE in a relationship and your dumb for not doing so...
scanlon24 0
your wife is immature.
embarrasing101 2
she sounds verrrrry convincing
Boobles89 9
Hahaha that's ******* awesome.
tmcnatt2012 0
your wife is brilliant!!
helmet786 4
kids ain't a big deal but you don't want em too late