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Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, on my way home from grocery shopping, two young adults around my age came up and asked me for a lighter. Thinking they just needed it to light a cigarette, I handed them my only lighter. They immediately ran away. I got robbed for a 1.99$ lighter. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
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Top comments
CallMeWindSock 24
Maybe it was a sign for you to quit smoking.
HowieDoIt 21
Joke's on him! He took the ricin cigarette.
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Comments (134)
HowieDoIt 21
Joke's on him! He took the ricin cigarette.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
How on earth did this make it through Mods? It's a cigarette, big whoop! Worse things happen all the time...
EmilianaLondon 14
That's not so bad for you, all you had to do was take out another cigarette - what worries me is this other person would smoke a cigarette after a stranger :/
TheDrifter 24
Smoking a stranger's cigarette is like indirectly kissing them. I think most of us have kissed someone before and lived to tell the tale.
EmilianaLondon 14
People can roll their own cigarettes with anything in them or lace them in anything - not really something I'm willing to risk, each to their own.
allie2590 31
But when it's a stranger, the odds of getting herpes/aids/bubonic plague increase by about 1000, according to studies.
TheDrifter 24
But I thought fluid transfer activities with strangers was a national pastime? Who knew it could be dangerous.
Ki11erC 18
You don't have a rolled cigarette for someone to light off, it doesn't work unless they know how, in which case it was probably a straight of some known brand, not much risk there for it being laced... But keep that paranoia rolling ;)
EmilianaLondon 14
I can admit, not so much paranoia as ignorance - I know pretty much nothing about cigarettes, I just know I wouldn't share one with a stranger off the street. If you want to, be my guest (:
bandeek 30
Does this mean i kissed my brother in law?
Ali_Br_fml 33
I was waiting outside of a store in Manhattan and saw someone walk up and pick up a half-used cigarette and put it in his mouth. It was on the ground, and stepped on by many people. He didn't even care. The things some people do for an addiction... Another time, I saw a guy in a suit pick one up by the sewer in the street, light it and put it in his mouth. They don't seem to care about getting sick.
amanda131 4
If OP or the guy who stole the cigarette knew how to smoke, there isn't and shouldn't be any fluids involved. The cigarette should never go any further in than the outside of the lips. It should never get wet. Therefore, who cares about sharing a cigarette if no fluids are shared.
Nyx_fml 23
The man got two cigarettes for one, what a great offer.
HowieDoIt 21
How's the air up there on your high horse?
djalal_fml 11
Hum ... Tiens j'ai déjà vu ça quelque part ! Ah mais oui sûr VDM ! Pas bien de reprendre les idées des autres ! Ahaha surtout pour le foutre sur la version anglophone de VDM. # This is a quote from the original (and French ) version of FML, www.viedemerde.fr . It's bad to take other ideas when you don't have one . And also , it's funny to see the reaction of the puritanism American For the cigarette .
HowieDoIt 21
Go home, djalal, you're drunk.
djalal_fml 11
Lol , sorry but I don't drink Alcohol , thanks to care about that ahaha . No it's real , I read the quote a few hours ago on VDM. And , yeah , somewhere American are funny , they drink a lot and insult smokers lol . (Sorry if I simplify , English's not my mother language )
Jezzikah 11
I've had a similar situation. Except a lady got up in my face asking for a smoke. I told her I didn't have anymore, so she just grabbed the smoke outta my mouth and walked away... Even though its just a smoke, it still pisses you off. The pettiness of the theft adds to the anger I think
Jezzikah 11
Any more* my apologies. I shall correct myself before a gn does.
perdix 31
He just added three minutes to your life ... and didn't throw up in your purse. It's your lucky day!
TheDrifter 24
What nobody ever tells you is that those minutes you add go on the end of your life. The crapping your pants, can't remember your name fml grandparent years.
perdix 31
No, my three minutes were getting blown by a bikini supermodel while eating lobster off her twin sister's *******! All while watching a rerun of "Seinfeld" (The Opposite episode.)
Catkam623 27
In the three minutes stolen from me I was given 1 billion dollars to be in a 5 way with 4 clones of Kate Upton... Damn that cigarette:)
ninjuh_wingman 29
To be fair, if he offered to give it back, would you really take it?
greg84_fml 21
What you fail to realize is that when someone hands another person a lit cig, it's used for them to light their own, and then to hand it back to the owner. Any smoker would know this.
CharresBarkrey 16
95 - I think you misunderstood their comment. But at any rate, clearly not "any" smoker would know this as the guy in the FML was a smoker and did not. Also, you usually light it FOR them with yours, not hand them yours so they can do it.
greg84_fml 21
@ 98, I am assuming 29 meant would the OP want it back if the guy had smoked from it. The fact the guy told it, smoke it, and walked off makes him an asshat.
ninjuh_wingman 29
I understand that when someone hands you a lit cigarette you're supposed to use it to light your own, not smoke from it. I'm just saying that since he already took a drag from it, giving it back wouldn't make it better.
EmilianaLondon 14
I wouldn't say the other comments are really too judgemental and it may not have been intentional theft, he may have assumed that because it was taking her a long time to find the lighter she just decided to give him the cigarette and then when she found it she could just light another one for herself, idk. It's not really the sort of 'theft' which would anger me, it would probably make me laugh about it with friends later.