Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML
Today, I finally put my Christmas lights up. In the process, a branch from the bush in my yard smacked me in the face, giving me a very noticeable scar on my nose. I have a photo session tomorrow. FML
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Today, my neighbors threatened to sue me because a six-foot branch fell off one of my trees and into their yard, hitting nothing on the way down. FML
Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML
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Top comments
NeDaroft 5
I thought this was about , shaving his private parts for a second haha
THE_A_TEEN 28
Those damn trees. *shakes fists angrily in the air.
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Comments (64)
raraisbang 12
Well thank god you are not a ninja, op. if that tree limb had been an assassin, you'd be dead by now.
kayray2626 5
oh the irony...
Longshott 4
You have a tree in your kitchen?
CaseySTFU 3
When I first started reading this, I thought you were referring to "your favorite tree" as his penis.
hunteer9 5
First of all, proper trimming on a tree is healthy for the tree. It promotes new growth. Second, a man usually knows what is best for the yard so just let him do what needs to be done.
zandalee 20
Yawn
FML_14u2c 14
Tell him that you won't trim your "bush", until he trims the tree...
coried91 28
But she didn't want the tree trimmed. Your joke fell flat on its face.
Jewnut 0
lol irony is the best humor
Angeon 5
Thought this was a little dirty till the end.
kemando 22
I thought it was some sort of inappropriate metaphor.
thinbubba 8
Should have just let the man do his job.