Today, I complimented a guy on his Van Gogh costume. As it turns out, he had an infection in his ear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML
Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML
Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML
Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML
Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML
Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and it's not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked, "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML
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Top comments
lexiieeex3 32
Was this on Halloween or on November 3rd? Makes the world of difference here.
kelciimackk 24
Don't worry, OP; he'll let it Gogh.
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Comments (15)
lexiieeex3 32
Was this on Halloween or on November 3rd? Makes the world of difference here.
espark 3
Hey, I'm the op. :) It was actually a few days before Halloween, but where I was, a TON of people were dressed up, so I figured he was just one of the many.
kelciimackk 24
Don't worry, OP; he'll let it Gogh.
mariri9206 32
It's pronounced "goff." (It is but I'm kidding, btw. I don't really care how you pronounce it. lol)
Mike3258 18
it is for Dutch. but this is AMERICA. GAWSH
cootiequeen4444 11
it's not van Goff either, man. it's like vincent van * some hacking noise*.. just Google how to pronounce vincent van gogh audio or something like that to find the real Dutch pronounciation.
Bearsmomma 30
Lmao #10. Loved your comment
xxDeeStar 27
Saw the title and I had to say that you're not an asshole! There is no way you'd know. Things happen sometimes. As long as you apologized, you did your part.
montsecc 8
Bad timing lol
claudiajean 24
Don't worry I once got told I was brave going back to work so soon after a massive surgery on my brain. I'd actually jut had too much to drink and let someone shave my undercut without a guard on it. He'll get over it :) you didn't know!
Saraishi 25
It's November, OP....
mariri9206 32
This could have been on Halloween. Just because the post date is in November doesn't mean it actually occurred in November. It's really likely that it happened in October - on Halloween, actually - and OP just posted/submitted it a few days later.
tmatherne 8
In all fairness, that WOULD have been a bitching costume.
ohSNAPyall 27
He should have rocked it!
jvanevery 19
that's actually very funny but it would have been more appropriate on Halloween