Today, I received a Playboy magazine that I never ordered, and now my husband won't stop laughing at me or calling me a closet heterosexual. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML
Today, my husband got some junk mail. My grandma brought the mail in and let my 5-year-old open it because it was just junk. It turns out it was a catalog from an adult toys shop. FML
Today, my boyfriend was extremely angry. He found a naked photograph of me online that he thought I'd been sending to other guys. It wasn't me. FML
Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML
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Top comments
twobearsforever 1
But he wouldn't want to use it..... the joke is that OP is a guy, they're both men who are married to each other and don't want to look at photos of sexy women.
ohsnapword 21
Laugh with him. Sounds like the two of you have a great relationship.
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Comments (14)
MrEpicSqueaky101 18
Is it me or does FML seem like thumbs down central?
Cali 57
FMLers have some pretty strong feelings today, Hitlertits.
Jacobus_G 3
amazingly no matter how awful the circumstances, matter how helpless the OP was in the situation, there are always a bunch of trolls who say ydi
Bearsmomma 30
And a few accidentals stuck with the "choice" because you cannot un-select it
acmariner99 25
Welcome aboard! We don't bite ... much ?
Kpotassium 4
'Closet heterosexual'
ChillaKilla 1
Yes- they are gay men
Mylife 12
You're husband sent it.