Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
Today, I went to hug my husband and give him a kiss. He flinched away and asked what I was doing, because I apparently never hug him, so he thought I might be about to prank him or something. Now I feel bad. FML
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Top comments
JohnwastheCute1 0
Ew.
quackquackquac 0
Is it bad that I laughed?
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Comments (166)
Shyman4ever 0
YDI for hugging him. People can steal your wallet/purse/money like that.
lastdayinvegas 0
oh come on thts probly the only action he's gotten in years, give him a break
katiefershady 0
ya a homeless guy stole my phone. be careful
katied4224 0
Your an idiot for hugging a bum. You should have contracted the Clap for that stupid move. Hoe.
laundy 0
I wonder when that guy last took a shower. Hopefully you won't get scabies...
Jessaly_fml 0
I keep my distance from the homeless. Ugh, that's just disgusting. And that was cruel of him. But I must say..."wtf am I doing", LMAO.
cabernet 0
YDI for hugging a stranger. Dumbass.
littlemessalina 0
hahahaha aaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing. next time, don't hug the hobos.
xBlessedxInxSINx 0
She should be lucky he didnt go for the popular "motorboat", now THAT would of been very funny.
ArthursLifeSucks 2
Homeless, armless people want action too. Take a shower to wash the nasty off, have a good stiff drink, and laugh.