Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I woke up from my wisdom tooth surgery… while they were still sawing my jaw. I had such a bad panic response that they also cut my lip, so I have stitches inside and outside of my mouth, as well as the haunting crackle of bone being removed from my skull stuck in my head. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML
Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SparkleyTurtle 4
Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!
olpally 33
A sense of humor... I can't believe I just had to explain that... :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
alymartin 1
Aww!
elliotb94 9
Sounds like an excuse to take more painkillers. Maybe you could create an alter ego and work in diagnostics, you show know emotion but all you crave is someone to love you back. I miss House.
tj4234 36
ah good old painkillers. They once gave me a dream that I was logging into Bebo. Not doing anything else, just logging in. Course it must have been a dream because who honestly goes on Bebo?
shannagregson 3
Sorry you're in pain, but thanks for the laugh. That was funny!
ChamboMango 5
Boo!
Regmeister 10
This is my favorite thing. Ever.
leionheart 1
I'm sorry that is hilarious. Next time draw a face on it!
tannertrevis 5
Hook it up with some vike bro.
Jdumps 1
chill out an stop abusing pain killers idiot
THE_A_TEEN 28
Said the idiot who: A. Types a run-on sentence B. Doesn't realise that OP is taking painkillers for her post-surgery pain C. Doesn't realise that taking painkillers does not mean they are abusing them. Now go act dumb on your own time.
skoob1 12
Is that whole "scare you dickless" thing from experience? Is that why your avatar pic stops at the top of your Croch?