Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I woke up from my wisdom tooth surgery… while they were still sawing my jaw. I had such a bad panic response that they also cut my lip, so I have stitches inside and outside of my mouth, as well as the haunting crackle of bone being removed from my skull stuck in my head. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML
Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
SparkleyTurtle 4
Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!
olpally 33
A sense of humor... I can't believe I just had to explain that... :/
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Comments (59)
cookie_crumble89 11
LMAO that was hilarious. Shame about your stitch
dcats 13
Oh gosh, I am sorry op. you life sucks at the moment
retyi43 14
whaaaat. sounds PRETTY AWESOME to me
lolfood 24
Your* Next time I see this type of ******* comment, I will track the commenter down and murder them. Seriously, we know OP's life sucks, hence the reason it's on FML.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Hey, I'm going to get my wisdom teeth out next week. Maybe I'll have an FML like this afterwards! :p
Dallasluver19 14
That sucks.. Well it was kinda stupid of u to leave the tissue up ur nose and just let it sit there and have all that blood rush through ur head..
lalalanono 8
Scared the stitch out of ya, huh? Really though, FYL, OP, but this was one of the funniest posts I've seen here.
Jessj958 19
I agree 28...I don't think I've laughed so much after reading FML! But it does suck about the stitch I bet that was painful.
Shrouds 14
Im more surprised that you didn't drown in your own blood... very lucky
reddudeover 2
15 - He only acts nice to lull you into a false sense of security and then he scares you dickless. Or if you're a woman he scares you dickfull (equally scary).
tony1891 22
should have called TAPS
dude1122332 9
I was watching them couple nights ago.(:
laughsalot1993 2
I feel your pain: I just had jaw surgery, and my sister decided to throw out some of her best jokes....stitches popped lol
alyhatch 3
That is so funny