Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Today, we were heckling a friend who showed up to skate wearing a helmet, laughing at him for not being confident in his skating. I go to stunt so I can mog him, slip, and wake up in the hospital with stitches and a killer headache. Mogged by a helmet wearer. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
glassjaw_90 0
See, smoking almost killed you.
DoomJeff91 2
So who ended up throwing the brick further?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
j3nn1987 0
yeah well... my parents owe me $8 K from when they moved to a new place. Did the same crap to me and I'll never see that either...
kdaddy 0
thats what you get for living in the south
wowyoufail 2
ydi for smoking you greasy *****
marligan 0
lies.
suckstobeyou3 0
If you didn't smoke, you wouldn't have been in the way of their awesome contest to go buy your cancer sticks. YDI.
__Pent__ 0
You deserved it because you were on your way to buy cigarettes.
coooki 0
lol there are reasons why pot is illegal and they tell u not to smoke it. it actually contains more tar than cigarettes so it's worse for you, and it can cause little things like psychosis and can precipitate schizophrenia. not much fun
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Lil miz liz: Unlike many others, my comment was actually relevant to the first comment. And replying to me to tell me that kinda puts you in a hypocritical situation, eh?
gatorsxrule 0
that's gods way if saying stop smoking
CyclonePsycho 1
Adds a whole new meaning to "God just shat bricks!" doesn't it? :)