Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML
Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML
Today, I woke up after putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize what I'd done until I smelt burning plastic. FML
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
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Top comments
RyanRaygun 0
Not to mention your heroin habit.
chakrabs 0
What are you, an idiot? Why wouldnt you use a microwave? I use it all the time with my cereal, its too cold sometimes and hurts my teeth. 10 seconds in the nuker is usually enough.
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Comments (411)
gagealexander 12
-_- you're an idiot...
broken_sunset828 4
Wow. what an idiot.
Tolkienite 12
probably the funniest thing ive ever read :)
Crawyz 11
1. Ydi, you should know the result of heating metal. 2. Why not use a microwave or at least not a candle
_BruhhGetALife_ 19
It must be hard being that stupid.
qpdoll 19
The ****? You're eating cereal, not making drugs.
cumminsncope 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You've got to be the stupidest mother ****** on the planet.
PH4NX0M 16
Is "Cereal" the sick new drug.
PH4NX0M 16
Everybody calm down and stop being spy mean, you're the ones uncut deserve this. And I wouldn't have realized that it would've stayed hot, and maybe he just forgot and I might've too. And syndromes did can get burnt if you put it in the microwave.
PH4NX0M 16
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WHO STILL HAS CANDLES!?!??! WHO IS THE REAL IDIOT.