Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alex_vik 1
LOL, that's a first. I wonder what it said.. 1. Finger her. 2. Put on condom 3. Insert penis 4. ???? 5. Profit!
Katylolo 0
Okay, that's actually pretty sweet. I mean, he was so worried about doing everything just right for you that he didn't want his nerves to get in the way and forget what he was doing. But maybe this means you guys are a little too young to be doing this? At least be safe, use condoms.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (260)
icare4u 0
so cute
maddog_fml 0
LOL #17 Haha! +1 for this guy!! I know my first time wasn't tip top, but what did he forget? Which hole he had to put in?
AntiChrist7 0
your fault you take an idiot as boyfriend. or you are both 11, then it was understandable. but then it was perverse also
505_fml 0
What pockets? If you guys are having sex then he wouldn't have pants on. Did he keep his shirt on? Or did he get the paper from his clothes on the floor or something?
ForceX 0
its like seinfeld rofl.
Aetius_fml 0
That wasn't a list of instructions, it was the starting lineup of the 1985 New York Yankees. He was trying to maximize how long he lasted.
deliciouskaek 1
#5, et al. ~ it's her first time too; she doesn't know what to do any more than he does. LMAO @ #1 xDD
leyla_fml 0
Reminds me of American Pie when that guy who had to go down on Tara Reid had the Karma Sutra book or something under the bed hahaha!
Blanche_fml 0
it wasnt the karma sutra book ! it was the book of men, the book that all the guys had contributed to that was left in the library.
DmdFrmThStrt 0
That's just cute. And it kinda proves that he wasn't just saying he was a virgin to get in your pants :)