Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
Today, it was my dad's 60th. I was planning on calling him early, but due to a client (I'm a social worker) ending up in hospital because her husband beat her up, I couldn't call him until 2:30. My mum phoned me in tears, yelling that I was a bad daughter and obviously didn't care about my dad. FML
Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
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Top comments
tipsypiink 0
HOLY ****, I BOUGHT SHROOMS FROM YOUR DAD AT BONNAROO.
owlcansing 0
Well look at the bright side - he'll still have a "cell".
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Comments (133)
expen_dable 0
damnit I knew I should have went to bonaroo...next year...
GrapefruitZoe 0
I don't think he's a loser, I'm gonna go with FTG (**** the government) on this one.
NoNameAtAll_fml 1
Dk
le_journey 0
LOL. He was at EDC for sure. Gotta watch out for those undercover narcs...
MeganH0LLYW00D 0
Hm... So what's his number.. And how much. Come on, Don't hold out on us.
LordOfTheHobos 0
I agree with #16
Blake444 0
YDI for having a dad .... jkjk but that sucks my dad has 2 DUI's one more and he goes to jail hopefully ur dad will learn his lesson tho
MeganH0LLYW00D 0
You are 16.
Blake444 0
i agree with 16 too
girandwogpig 0
HAHA FTW!!!
quackquackquac 0
LOL! I was going to say that, but you beat me...
bleepyourlife 0
i disagree with 16.
Missnoname_fml 0
16 might be right.
Sawadee 0
omg...this is hilarious
cattoe7 0
#16 is right
Toas7 0
Shit. That's a bitch. The government should really pull their noses out of other people's asses. Who cares if some kid wanted to trip, and who cares if your dad sold them? FY dad's L for getting canned over something that isn't anyone's business.
SammyS2012 21
So murdering someone shouldn't be illegal? It's not the government's business if someone stabbed another, stole valuable items, etc... A government makes laws to protect their people. Shrooms aren't exactly the safest thing to pass around. Someone could be allergic or they can just not handle it well and cause death. Government is well within their right to regulate that.
ctemd915 0
Haha, I'm sorry but that's funny. It sucks for you, though. You'd think someone in your family would inform you...
owlcansing 0
Well look at the bright side - he'll still have a "cell".
YoureLyingDicks 0
LOL #22
ghadir 2
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Michigan >_<