Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
Today, it was my dad's 60th. I was planning on calling him early, but due to a client (I'm a social worker) ending up in hospital because her husband beat her up, I couldn't call him until 2:30. My mum phoned me in tears, yelling that I was a bad daughter and obviously didn't care about my dad. FML
Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
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Top comments
tipsypiink 0
HOLY ****, I BOUGHT SHROOMS FROM YOUR DAD AT BONNAROO.
owlcansing 0
Well look at the bright side - he'll still have a "cell".
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Comments (133)
SeventhFonons 0
Illegal drugs scare me ._.
giantsolstice87 0
**** the war on drugs.
SoFaded80 0
yah well, ur a pussy
Hootieknows 0
Yeah your dad rocks and that sucks!
kaleb0121 0
wow
HAHAHSUCKS4YOU 0
..drugs = bad
ledzeplover 0
all of you are really annoying to be completely honest. get over yourself. step outta your box. and open up your mind! dont knock it before you try it first.. your dad sounds awesome.. go visit him in the slammmer :)
ohhhh_Ashley 0
55 we're not lazy, because that's what they are actually called. real mushrooms aren't drugs.
SoFaded80 0
damn isnt the offence for selling boomers manslaughter or something? and 103 has it totally right, open your mind. seriously they are life-changing. that totally sucks that ur dads in jail thoo
boobroken 0
thats terribleee. i feel so bad for youuu. my uncle went to jail for giving 13 yearolds heroine and then daring them to do dumb shit. lmfao. i hate that man... never met him.
ellysa_fml 0
No shot Sherlock!