Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I contacted a girl who dropped her ID at a club last night. I offer to drive 2 hours to return her ID to her. She is thrilled. When I arrive, she gives me a strange look, takes the ID, and runs back into her house. A two hour drive without even a thank you. FML
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
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Top comments
Likalotbear 0
Not your fault. You didn't know.
eastmanwolf 0
Well then she should have updated her I.D.
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Comments (289)
ohhhiiii 0
hahahhhahaha thats great
XxGivesMEhellxX 0
well you were actually just doing your job so...
lin_zee 0
hhahah aww jerk. haha but that's kind of funny
fmylifeapp 0
wow, nice one
DeeJayD 0
YDIers, of course he deserved it. He should have used his psychic powers to read her mind and find out she had been in a crash. How thoughtless of him. Seriously, put yourself in his position. You get someone come up to you with an ID that has a picture that doesn't look like them. Your first thought is that it's a fake. The thought that they could have been in a horrible accident doesn't cross your mind. It's not something you knowingly encounter on a day to day basis. Give the guy a break.
magoo_fml 0
certainly not your fault. you should have bought them a round of drinks though.
Hidan_fml 0
Ummm, no he shouldn't have you ******* moron?
hottie102 0
completely agree with you #74
kate_shepherd 0
It's completely not your fault. You get fake ID pictures ALL the time. How were yo usupposed to know, right?
aftermath_fml 0
I work at a movie theaters and I had to I.D people, some Midgets had a fit cuz i I.D themed for a Rated R movie. Not my fault they looked like they were 12
littlelam11 0
u sure it wasnt apirl fools?