Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Catnip is just the start! It's a gateway herb for cats. Next thing you know, he'll be sneaking out at 2AM to score some blow from the cat down the street. That's when he starts knocking over garbage cans looking for his next score. Before you know it he's lost in a swirling maelstrom of despair and soggy cat treats. Cut him off now before its too late!
blcksocks 19
Tell them your kitten is hooked on weed.
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Comments (72)
KhaozD 3
got my sisters cat high. now for some reason were fatal enemies. bastard. #LEGALIZE or legal lies?
leahmae88 7
I swear, I've never seen it before. *points at kitten*
marylandgirl17 4
Ha! The same thing happened to me with my dad!
29dear 16
why was it in a tube???
TishaHowlett 7
my mom did that to me once even made me take a drug test the whole time my dad was telling her what it was but she knew cuz she had smoked it before
amitilin 11
It was marijuana for your cat.