Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Catnip is just the start! It's a gateway herb for cats. Next thing you know, he'll be sneaking out at 2AM to score some blow from the cat down the street. That's when he starts knocking over garbage cans looking for his next score. Before you know it he's lost in a swirling maelstrom of despair and soggy cat treats. Cut him off now before its too late!
blcksocks 19
Tell them your kitten is hooked on weed.
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Comments (72)
Metallica36176 16
Go get your stash of *good stuff* that's hidden in your room for comparison. That way you can show them the difference in the two and clear your name for sure. -sarcasm-
wickedninja918 1
This was one of the few times it wasn't nessicary to specify that it was sarcasm. Why did you?
Metallica36176 16
Because it seems that there is always one dumbass that doesnt get it. But it seems there is more than one today...eh you win some you lose some..
evilplatypus 39
You aren't getting thumbed down because people didn't realize it was sarcasm. You're getting thumbed down because it still wasn't funny.
Metallica36176 16
It was a comment. Not a joke.
evilplatypus 39
62 - The only purposes of sarcasm are to be funny or an a$$. Since you admit you weren't trying to be funny...
winkydog4056 16
Sounds like the parents have been toking the catnip to be so stupid.
buckdharma 38
It brings out the creativity in my cat. he just put out a Christmas album.
BlowinChronic 18
You shouldn't have said that. Someone has to deal with cat and dog Christmas songs from now until Christmas and I think now that person know who to blame. Watch your back...
buckdharma 38
Bring it on. I got my hat, my cat, my gat and my wiffle ball bat.
winkydog4056 16
#40_That right there explains why your pussy OD'd and is now in rehab climbing the walls.
buckdharma 38
No, I have two cats. one is in a successful grunge band and the other, sadly, has turned to a life of crime to support his drug habit. now please excuse me while a prepare to throw down...
bazzer69 3
Can someone please tell me how he can possibly deserve this?!
retyi43 14
she
evilplatypus 39
People will click YDI for any reason. Here are some that dumbasses might select for this FML: 1 - It's your fault for living with your parents (I've seen this as the reason for YDIing 13 year olds) 2 - Cats suck (I see that on here quite a bit) 3 - Voter is in a douchy-mood 4 - Voter is trying to get a badge from the website 5 - So explain what it is; YDI for not standing up for yourself 6 - Voter hit the wrong button 7 - They think OP is lying about what's in the tube Etc.
Epikouros 32
So you were supplying psychoactive drugs to an underage dependent? I'm sure there's a law against that.
buckdharma 38
My cat od'd 8 times on that shit and is in rehab climbing the walls.
BrianR716 5
They should have smelled it. I'm sure the cat rubbing on their legs was a hint. LOL
MrSStrupe514 0
Most people don't know.... but u can put ur weed in there.
retyi43 14
"it's catnip for my kitten!" ...well-played
Xerxes249 6
I dont believe you