Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
Today, I went to play pool with a couple of friends. I'm not very good at this game. My friend beat me fair and square. Twice. He's blind. FML
Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, I went to the casino and put $500 into a game and lost it all. I tried another $100 and won it all back, plus some. Instead of walking out ahead, I kept trying to hit bigger and ended up losing all my rent money. Rent is due and now I can’t pay it. FML
Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML
Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML
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Top comments
PhilSnake22 13
Did he later text you saying "HAHA TROLLED"?
darwinism 30
I started out with nothing, and still have most of it left. Such is life when you play a game of chance.
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Comments (37)
alxpilk 8
Everyone's great at poker until you play with real money
redbandit9877 12
If I learned anything from video games about gambling, it's the only ways to always win are cheat or kill your opponent. Neither is usually a valid option in real life scenarios.
cuppycakeslove 20
Or you can just be really good at poker...
redbandit9877 12
There's always someone better.
MrBean1561 5
Yea tell that to Phil Ivey, considered to be the best poker player in the world.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Not always. Movie quotes aren't that accurate.
FightMyLiger 19
So there's always someone better than me at poker... unless I'm Phil Ivey. Turns out I'm not, so #13 still makes the most sense of the lot of you.
graceinsheepwear 34
Unless your friend has a history of winning in casinos, why would you trust his judgement? Sorry ydi. But if your friend did troll you, ydbf (you deserve better friends).
Wowxoxo 17
WNJNTAIYGTSIOA? (Why not just nix the abbreviation if you're going to spell it out anyways?)
jw90 18
Can't keep up with the pros huh? Don't worry. Money is replaceable. Your pride. It is not.
jessBeAqueen 13
sorry op but ydi. why wouldn't you stop after the first couple of games? and if you played for large sums then ydi for letting your friend gas you up like that. you shouldnt have let it get to your head.
EvilUndead 9
18, because when money is at stake, most people can't think coldly and rationally. Stock market, gambling, etc. If you can't keep emotions in check, if you can't estimate risk correctly, you lose everything.
Acrlyx 8
That's why you only bet a little
EvilUndead 9
You got lucky. In 19th century nobles in my country had a bad habit of gambling away all their savings (including estates, etc), and then killing themselves in despair.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Are you, by chance, from the U.K.?
worldclassrager 41
Stacked the deck...that simple...
buckdharma 38
The only game I'm good at is "go fish."
graceinsheepwear 34
Fishing for sympathy there?
littlem91 29
Don't carp on about it.
KiddoKS 19
You're opponents just had beginners luck. What you need to do is go get a really big loan from a loan shark and get yourself back in the game. Nothing bad will come of it, trust me :)
graceinsheepwear 34
Just call (555) KiddoKS. That's 555-543-3657.
Axipiter 24
*Your.
KiddoKS 19
57, someone is getting a lot of calls all of a sudden.