Anonymous
Sundbyberg, Sweden
Drunk MC
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Bad guy
Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Z
United Kingdom
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
sober
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Girl…
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
thatonekid
United States
It's better than nothing, I suppose
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
paige
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Anonymous
He's still got it
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Illinoisgirl
Hungary
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Cecilly2010
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
chiktikka
United Kingdom
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Top comments
TimeDisposalEngi 14
Record him and make a remix :D
taytoc 10
Sounds like all rap :D
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Comments (86)
Enslaved 38
"Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey Brass Monkey - junkie That funky Monkey"
spikekutter 9
if the word rap started with a C it would be crap..
mckibben 7
Thank you for that great knowledge.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Or cap...
pmadNess 16
The C in rap is silent... Lol
a_frogg 9
What a cool dad :P
krazykyra 12
I'm pretty sure most rap careers start with alcohol. Maybe he's getting somewhere. :P
outoftown 27
Now he really has something to admit at Alcoholics Anonymous. And you have a great tale for Al-Anon. Best of luck, OP.
ThatPlankton 15
Artificial butta', word to your motha'
RedPillSucks 33
Is your dad "Killer Bee" from Naruto Shuppuden??
icepick23 12
Is your dad Mitch McConnell?
MeowZebraMeow 7
I read this as your dad will only respond to you if you speak in a slurred rap. That sounds like it would be a lot funnier.
MorganBrown 8
Personally, I would probably be that type of drunk myself; pure silly.