Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lifeislife_fml 0
Oh my god, he dropped his shovel!
Anteezy 7
dear, [ ]noob [ ]idiot [ ]asshole [ ]random person [ ]you [ ]scientologist [ ]fucktard [X]troll [ ]***** [ ]shit face [X]loser [ ]microsoft [ ]douche you… [X]have said “FIRST!!” in a thread [ ]‘ve been caught hacking [ ]‘ve been caught trolling [ ]got owned in a nameless fps 1312 times [ ]begged for items in a foreign language in MMOs [ ]played maplestory [ ]have been caught spreading chain letters [ ]were caught having sex with children [ ]are just plain acting retarded in a social sense [X]are trying to gain attention [ ]are flamebaiting [ ]were caught spamming [X]have a mentality of an 8 year old please kindly… [ ]shoot yourself [ ]jump off a building [ ]hit yourself with a fire extinguisher [ ]refrain from doing whatever it is you were doing and take a social skills class [ ]learn2read [X]get a life [X]repeat elementary school [ ]stop skipping class [ ]screw yourself [ ]stop having sex with your parents [ ]commit sepuku yours truly, everyone that cares
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
Howdyplz 2
Don't be too down about it. Sure, he might think you're a ditz now, but he noticed you! And you made him laugh. And if he's British, don't take it too personally that he laughed. Brits have a really odd sense of humour, but really don't mean to make you feel bad. That kind of thing strikes me as funny, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't talk to you after it. True, i'm a girl, but guys aren't that scary. He won't think any worse of you. And make sure that next time you do something like that, laugh at yourself. It's a lot better than getting all flustered and quiet.
VraelVhalen 0
Yeah, British people have an odd sense of humour. Americans think pain is funny, so that pretty much states how stupid they are.
Carbonchild 0
It would suck if he was not a gentleman and helped you up.
FerrariCake 2
An ex-British forces guy lives in Tennessee? Why?
poiuytrewqlkjhgf 0
LOL actually it sounds like something from a romantic comedy. Ya never knooooow... ;]
Eviktion 0
he's definitely gay... or you're quite hideous
beachpeach123 0
British?!?! that really, really sucks. I'm sorry.
ColdGold 6
Yet you're the best thing to happen to him.
MoCo_fml 0
Well, at least he noticed you...? Did he at least offer help?
thetallone 0
That's just us all over, really - Brits use laughing at each other as a form of communication! I think he probably likes you! x
rainingaga 0
OP - YDI for using the term "EX Special Forces." It's "Former." Members of the military don't appreciate it when a civilian doesn't get the terminology correct. Your neighbor will not be interested in you if you don't get it right.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Hey. Get the snow shovel out of your ass. Thanks.
starberries 0
Maybe he was kicked out. And I wouldn't give a flying **** what he thought about the terminology, anyway. Only an asshole would laugh when his neighbor hit her ******* head on the step.