Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
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Top comments
lifeislife_fml 0
Oh my god, he dropped his shovel!
Anteezy 7
dear, [ ]noob [ ]idiot [ ]asshole [ ]random person [ ]you [ ]scientologist [ ]fucktard [X]troll [ ]***** [ ]shit face [X]loser [ ]microsoft [ ]douche you… [X]have said “FIRST!!” in a thread [ ]‘ve been caught hacking [ ]‘ve been caught trolling [ ]got owned in a nameless fps 1312 times [ ]begged for items in a foreign language in MMOs [ ]played maplestory [ ]have been caught spreading chain letters [ ]were caught having sex with children [ ]are just plain acting retarded in a social sense [X]are trying to gain attention [ ]are flamebaiting [ ]were caught spamming [X]have a mentality of an 8 year old please kindly… [ ]shoot yourself [ ]jump off a building [ ]hit yourself with a fire extinguisher [ ]refrain from doing whatever it is you were doing and take a social skills class [ ]learn2read [X]get a life [X]repeat elementary school [ ]stop skipping class [ ]screw yourself [ ]stop having sex with your parents [ ]commit sepuku yours truly, everyone that cares
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Comments (82)
nice18 0
We Brits do that, laugh at others misfortune, don't take it personally it doesn't mean to say he doesn't think your hot.
eduardo2k 0
D: is ur neighbor bear grylls? hi my name is bear grylls n today im going to show u how to laugh ur ass off with ur stupid neighbors
RaySK 2
Your a ******* idiot, stop attempting comedy
mn_mpls 0
ydi for being too cheap to buy salt to put on ur porch
MoCo_fml 0
Salt degrades the cement. So, no, not really. Either way, oh mighty one, have you never slipped on ice?
gigglingassassin 0
How cute are you? If you are cute: start crying/whimpering and ask him to help you up. (for some reason guys where I live think that is cute) If you are not cute: Thank him for volunteering to shovel your snow.
sandwichhater 0
take the snow shovel and hit him =D
jazzw92 0
neighbour's a jerk
FerrariCake 2
Yeah... because chicks like jerks. That's not really a secret. The OP's story confirms it.
Boddmon 0
Where is the consistency!! This FML if using both past and present tense!! *eye twitching*
RachelTM 0
I've fixed it! Sorry about that.
Boddmon 0
Why thank you!
katsuku 5
Maybe you should be more careful when walking out the front door. Or while doing anything for that matter. also, YDI for not salting your porch.
YunqFlyMa21o 0
Aww i Hope Yhur 0kay Now Tho .!
Jersmelliott 0
omg haha FYL