Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML
Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
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Top comments
SirSantpoort 0
Just open the windows for some time. Problem solved.
summerbaybay 0
quick suggestion-get out of the house!
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Comments (123)
vero88_fml 0
your dad totally deserved it, but sucks for you
jaizluv 0
you might be a redneck
MissFYourLife 0
Wait, Your About To Pass Out And Before You Do You Put It On FML Hahaha:) I LOVE IT FYL:)
Trist108 0
Woo awsome!! Now scratch a match!!
skinollie 0
your mom cleans my gas tank kiddo ;) and I would clean #43s gas tank anytime haha
polysyllabist 3
Oh my. It is true however, we have rednecks on the west coast too ... although most of them are in Oregan (originally settled by people from Mississippi, use your imagination)
dansco 25
You're is an idiot! But you could just simply leave the room... lol
TallMist 32
"Whole house smells of gas fumes" "Just leave the room" "Whole house smells" "Leave the room" "Whole house "Leave room" What?
sn355717 0
u should smoke a gag or two lol
iCandy2011 1
Suck it up. I love the smell of gas
gAt_d 26
Family buzz time! Everybody breathe deep.