Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker, "Turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you." I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
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Top comments
foulball3 0
what a ********.. slapped him right?
Hoff 0
Laugh. He's bitter.
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Comments (56)
poopy910 8
lol at least its your ex right?
juicy_jay08 0
yea true penis head
Perversive 0
These girls need to shut the **** up:"Cut his balls off!" I'll cut your ******* tiny **** off.
trolynnnnn16 0
ahahahahahahahaha histaricalll !!! op: stop caring about others peoples ******* opinions!
stepup0220 0
atleast it was your ex and not some random person.
Compass 0
It was your ex, not your current. Get over it.
campbellshayla73 0
bitch slap the shit outta him
Shmegan2012 1
Do yo ugo to UNH?? =]
tianaobama 0
haha that's too funny!
Save_Bandit 5
you're the first to say that because not everyone was looking left. next to you could be either way.
justbemellow 0
There's a difference in him being over her, and him being disturbed by imagining her naked body.