Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
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Top comments
coolster5000 22
Wow.
Welshite 40
Sorry to hear, OP. Cheaters are the worst.
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Comments (190)
Mike_Sweatpants 9
#livinthatinbredlife
sjohnson459 4
Hate all cheaters it's so disrespectful on so many levels!
jdlanam87 9
Once a cheater always a cheater end it. File adultery in the papers.
Sheedah 9
Are you saying you don't know who your wife's brother is or are you giving her the benefit of the doubt?? Either way you should really confront her about or just leave her where she is at and move on with your life and onto better things.
hnylst 12
Seriously, OP isn't saying it may actually be her brother ('the tradition in their family') He's being sarcastic, it's obviously not her brother, she's cheating on him. He's just being jokingly sarcastic about her excuse...
awesome2014 6
Are you in Arkansas
babyseastar 5
Im sorry. Cheaters should burn in hell. But How the **** do you have a wife and not know what her brother looks like?? Lol
midnightmango 13
You don't even know ur own wife's brother?
neverfamous 13
Maybe her brother is from Alabama.
gabriella25 4
no brainer dude