Today, my husband got me a birthstone bracelet for my birthday. I open the box and it’s a Ruby bracelet - July birthday. I was supposed to have a Pink Tourmaline bracelet since I have an October birthday. Turns out he confused me with the skank he’s banging. Her birthday's in July. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML
Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML
Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML
Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML
Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML
Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML
Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML
Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Hopefully, he gave the ***** the Pink Tourmaline one. Ruby is much more valuable, and you can use that money to hire a private eye or an aggressive divorce lawyer. I'd say the whole birthstone gem thing was bullshit, except I was born in the month whose stone is Amazon Gift Cards.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
And the fact that it's October not July didn't tip him off? The man's an idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Hopefully, he gave the ***** the Pink Tourmaline one. Ruby is much more valuable, and you can use that money to hire a private eye or an aggressive divorce lawyer. I'd say the whole birthstone gem thing was bullshit, except I was born in the month whose stone is Amazon Gift Cards.
lgrave 8
And your problem is your husband give you the wrong bracelet?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
And the fact that it's October not July didn't tip him off? The man's an idiot.
dreams2383 20
why are you taking gifts from him? he needs to be your ex- husband.
Tisinlovewithme 2
so you know your shitty husband is ******* someone else and you’re still with him? you need some serious help with that self esteem