Health Crispy

Crispy

ouch - 20/12/2011 12:46 - Australia

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Pranks should be outlawed

hannah - 30/09/2023 04:00

Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML

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Definitely

pizzaface - 27/07/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I discovered that of the three medicines I now have to take, all three of them have acne as a side effect. When acne is a side effect, I am 100% guaranteed to get it. FML

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Jammed

stinky car - 16/08/2013 03:18 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

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Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

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Anonymous - 11/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

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Make it stop

Ow ow owwww - 15/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, I have what is probably a cold sore on my upper lip. I also have a mustache, which keeps rubbing against it. Because of this, no matter what I do, it stings. The next few days are fixing to be very, very long and miserable. FML

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Leaking from everywhere

Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

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Can't win

Rawrssa - 13/03/2011 05:52 - United States

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

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JoJo - 17/10/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML

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Turn that frown upside down

sdfg - 12/12/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I was written up at work for not smiling. It’s winter, therefore smiling will cause my lips to crack and bleed. I drink 8 glasses of water a day. FML

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moop256 10

Tuesday 20 December 2011 18:44

Not even a joke try some Vaseline.

upyourzlolz 11

Tuesday 20 December 2011 18:47

I guess you need that $90 moisturizer.

katydid91 31

Wednesday 21 December 2011 14:45

FYL, OP. Though in all seriousness call your doctor because cracks on/in the backside are at serious risk for infection!

cougar41 8

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:51

You should take evening primrose capsules this helps moisturizer skin from inside also use bio oil in your bath and moisturizer with bio oil too

Liquidknight 4

Wednesday 21 December 2011 18:42

Put some Chapstick on it haha

charmed1125 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 5:12

Stop taking accutane

HunterAlpha1 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 6:53

it sounds to me like you need to stop taking the meds immediately and see your doctor.

CurlyQute 17

Sunday 25 December 2011 6:41

Moisturizer?....

tommiwcc 1

Wednesday 28 December 2011 2:18

Coconut oil is a much better and natural solution...

wazupsuckaa 0

Thursday 29 December 2011 15:10

I heard that flaxseeds can help moisturize and soften skin, due to the Omega 3 Fatty Acids!

A7X2012 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 12:03

Wheres the chapstick!!!!

BROOKE789877 5

Sunday 29 January 2012 5:57

u must be taking Acutain, feel the pain in the lips and face to idk what the tush thing is must be something different

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I crawled into bed at 2 in the morning. At 6 am, the telephone rang, waking me up. It was a wrong number. FML

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Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

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Today, I severely underestimated how strong I am when I attempted to dunk a basketball into a miniature basketball hoop at a swimming pool. I made it, but in doing so I made it fall over, despite the cinder blocks placed on the base specifically to prevent that from happening. FML

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Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

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Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. Some kids started fighting and screaming at each other, so I leaned next to her and said, "Man, am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML

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Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

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