Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I found out the girl I hit on at the store I work at is my second cousin. FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML
Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML
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Top comments
LEPOfficer 0
I like how you said "adorable" to keep people from flamin' you for thinking your cousin is hawt.
frootloopkicker 0
I could totally see something like this happening to me... That's what happens when you have a large family where you only see a person once every five to ten years. Definitely FYL.
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Comments (104)
perdix 31
I once was in Louisiana and my cheesy pickup line to a girl was that I WAS her cousin. It worked.
Vaetrus 0
As long as she didn't think you were trying to pick her up, then it's all good. Only you know how close to incest you truly were. Only you and all of FML. And how "adorable" your cousin really is... wtf really? Adorable?
CJ090 0
U people don't get it he said adorane because he was gonna drop the cousin bomb on us later in the story he doesn't want us to know he thinks his cousin is a hot piece
Fraggle 0
This really isn't a huge deal. Statistically, people are most attracted to similar bone structure/features to their own. It's called Matching Hyposthesis
Dynoblaze 1
Are you adopted? Cause if you are, then she's not really your cousin and you could totally tap that.
Starfire22 5
It could have been worse, you could have slept with her and then relized she was your cousin.
TheWolves 0
Fail
Poundingsand 0
You can marry your cousin in most states. Tap it FTW!
Silentknight 0
@3 five to ten xD
loadie951 0
Watch Joe Dirt and youll feel better.
I_am_stupid_also 6
How did she know you from the pickup line? Did you use it before at a family gathering?