Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, and every day for the last ten days, I’ve woken up in the morning and found another new spider somewhere in my room, ten days in a row. I don’t know where the bastards are coming from but I’m seriously considering sleeping in another room, or buying a new house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, the last 8 spiders found in the house have all been in my bedroom. Not the kitchen, or my sister's room, or our parents' room, or front room, laundry, or garage. Always in my room. I’m the only one in the house scared of spiders. The bastards are haunting me, trying to scare me to death. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
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Top comments
dman4412 0
why did I have to read this right before I go to bed...
PsychoMerk 0
It's ok OP, I have an irrational phobia of owls... yet my favorite place to eat is Hooters... the irony makes me ashamed of myself :(
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Comments (139)
KurouTenshi 0
stop being a whuss, grab your sword and slay those mother *******! I'm not fond of spiders, but I'll be damned if I get turned into their 8-legged orgy breeding ground!
Ademus 0
Ocarina-of-time-style spider slaying FTW! lol
pipp360 0
lol 13
iltby 3
If it's that debilitating you should probably see a therapist to help.
mama2b3 20
OH MY GOD!! Why the **** would you do that? and then post it so now I know they live for six years and feel like they're crawling on me!!! YDI
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
I have the same phobia. Once, when I was ten, our family went to a reptilarium (sp?) and the first room we walked into was a spider exhibit. Thes tarantulas the size of my face were just a pane of glass away 0.0 So I stood at a potted plant in the middle of the room and they were all around me. I couldn't leave without getting closer to them. I had a panic attack and started crying my eyes out :(
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
Hey, look! Snickerdoodles actually didn't correct anyone on their spelling yet! Actually, now she's probably going to correct me on my (possibly) incorrect spelling of reptilarium.
KSUrox4me 0
is anyone else noticing the redundancies in the statement irrational phobias? phobias are by definition irrational fears, therefore there is no such thing as a rational phobia.
FYLDeep 26
Using the word irrational to describe a phobia is redundent. /snickerdoodles
FYLDeep 26
Maybe you should lobby Apple to get a dictionary and a set of API's to integrate said dictionary into iPod/iPhone related applications for features like spell-checking. Maybe you could even get some kind of "Sinckerdoodles Approved" sticker on it too. I sense a revolution coming.
Foxy_On_Fire 21
I hate spiders to. my late father would chase me with them.
Lightslei 0
Why do so many people get creeped out by spiders? Honestly, you can step on them and you've probably eaten several in your sleep.
dudeitsdanny 10
This isnt helping them.
screwlife23 0
actually that's a myth. spiders have survival instincts, they wouldn't go into a hot, wet, dark, breathing tunnel unless they had a death wish. it's just to scare people. I'm not saying that it never happens, but it's not common.
Foxy_On_Fire 21
one lived in the spice cabinet in the trailor lived in before my dad passed away. it lived through bombings and poison. it was the size of a taranchila when we moved. I still stay away from the spice cabaniet. sorry about my spelling it's 3:21 am. I'm sleepy. night all dream of extermonaters!
luvmygirl65 0
if it's 3:21, why does the time on your comment say 10:22??? BUSTED.
altaira_fml 0
It doesn't, it says 4:22. They must be in a different time zone to that on the FMLsite.
sierralem 3
and it's the same time everywhere?
BenLarge1 0
I got 10:22