Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was wood chips that were behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML
Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
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Top comments
KenMcGormick 0
those are happy grasshoppers
MidgetMonster 0
that is disgusting. how did you not feel the dead lumps of grasshopper in your bra?
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Comments (151)
scratchy209 0
that sucks so bad!!! I would have cried.
applesmoothiee 2
same
paul924 0
lucky grasshoppers!!
WorkThatButt 2
OMG FIRST LALALALAHOOOBLAHOOOBLA
yourlifesfucked 0
lights 18's bong here ya go buddy it went out.
yake12 0
haha #20 wins
alexFYL 11
hahahaha #20. I love you!
aardvarkish 17
20 is Rad
Angeledice 0
Yuck!!! Perfect moment to freak out, I'm dead scared of insects like that!
sugarbabyxoxo 2
I would've cried lmao
Monikabug 9
Me too. Cried, screamed, and then promptly taken a shower.
QuidProQuo 1
ill comfort you if i can get in on that shower
Monikabug 9
It's a deal if you bring some Dentyne Ice.
ashlynn610 12
lmaooo(: I love that commercial!!!
LtHoward 0
Grosshoppers are not so bad, I use to play with them when I was a kid haha They do freak some people out though, FYL =P
haleylawliet 0
Don't you just hate finding dead things in your bra? What a nuisance......
lky830 0
and I thought finding popcorn in my bra after going to the movies was gross!
Eddie_Paints 0
Wow that's cool you know how to replace siding but you neglected to mention what kind it was. Lapboard, Hardy,4x8,4x9, etc.. Get back in the Kitchen!!
Peroxide 3
Wax on, wax off young grasshopper. Quit posting fmls and get back to your karate training. You think catching a dead grasshopper in your bra is better than catching a fly with a pair of muthfucking chopsticks?
BeeSkwaird 0
I'm sorry, who wax off young grasshoppers??! Commas, man! Commas!
BeeSkwaird 0
Haha, thanks for the message, pendatic, or I might not've seen your reply! You ain't so bad yourself, my good man.
sexmuffins 0
The bra ninja. Fighting crime with your boooobz