Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my mom and started acting strange. Then my dad came in and was instantly furious. Apparently, my boyfriend is the guy my mom cheated with that caused my parent's divorce. He’s 3 years younger than I am. Gross mom, just gross. Also I’m single again, damn it. FML
Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
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Top comments
Quest_ 13
Missing teeth = *********** from heaven.
doink 0
That's not a creepy thing to say to a stranger. Not creepy at all...
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Comments (67)
Sillvy 3
...and he is still more attractive than your mother.
InfiltratedMind 0
^^^ WINner with capital win
nerdsgetmehot 23
I can respect that parents can have sex lives too, but I think it crosses the line when they discuss it in front of their children...Or try to tell their children about it. That's just a little awkward and torturous. :P
RedPillSucks 33
meh.... Depends on the closeness of the relationship with the kids. Diffr'nt strokes
mustardcat 1
what's up with moms doing it with other guys infront of their kids?
teri99 0
it's probly cause he has a big dick
Describe 0
It didn't shrink. Your dick was always that small.
BigBearSome 0
A beard would be ticklish, wouldn't it?
live4glitter 0
hopefully your mom will come to her senses
Felecorr 0
I liked that one. But YDI OP, you should be happy for your mom, as unnecessary as that information was.
SaraN29 6
that is sick
alex1432 9
holy **** #30, you are one creepy bastard
Flipflops4ever 0
I admire ur mother. Obviously there was a period when she had only seen him & not known what the sex wd b like, yet she looked beyond the exterior & gave this man a chance. How do u know he is not a good, caring, romantic man who just doesn't care about looking good in the conventional sense? And what's so bad about long hair? U judged him totally based on looks. So many ppl r so hung up on looks I wonder whether they r looking for a person to share their life with or a showpiece to make others think she has won some trophy.
PurttyGurlSwaqq 0
u deserve it for having a stupid laugh