Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my mom and started acting strange. Then my dad came in and was instantly furious. Apparently, my boyfriend is the guy my mom cheated with that caused my parent's divorce. He’s 3 years younger than I am. Gross mom, just gross. Also I’m single again, damn it. FML
Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
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Top comments
Quest_ 13
Missing teeth = *********** from heaven.
doink 0
That's not a creepy thing to say to a stranger. Not creepy at all...
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Comments (67)
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for causing your parents' divorce. If you had been a better child, they'd still be together. YDI for having a mom who fornicates. YDI for having a mom, period. YDI for caring about someone else's sex life. YDI for having a sister. YDI for not starting to play "Dueling Banjos" when you first saw the boyfriend.
NatalieFougere 0
LMFAOOO omg too funny.
Sanchezzz 0
10, fancy moustache. Does it come with a free subscription to Pedophilic Monthly?
ninjadude853 0
stop being shallow and get over it
xXLenaXx 0
Wait, does she make him wear an eyepatch too?
bayonet 0
Haha did he have a mullet too?
perdix 31
I'll bet when he brings that mangy beard and those jagged teeth to bear on her engorged pussy, she's getting wild sensations that bring on multiple, intense orgasms. That probably makes your mom want to do her best to return the oral favor. Now, give your Momma a big ol' kiss! :D
moonsolomon 0
Mon Dieu, I think I threw up a little.
julie3841 11
I pictured lucky from king of the hill..with a beard. Hey be happy for your mom, divorce can take a nasty toll on people and she seems to be doing alright.
mona_is_here 10
your mother has a good taste for men, no doubt
mona_is_here 10
10, no offense but 23 is a WIN:D
phenx84 1
... and a giant martini glass full of second-hand pineapple.