Today, I’m trying to be healthy. My friends suggested I keep junk food out of the house so I don’t crave it. Yeah, that didn’t work. My car wouldn’t start so I actually made the four-mile walk to the nearest grocery store to get junk food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML
Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML
Today, I discovered that I am going to the store, buying junk food, and eating it almost every night… entirely in my sleep. So much for being healthy and not dying in my forties. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for ordering too much fast food. The only reason I’m doing it is because there isn’t any food in the house. Not only that but I’m also trying to gain weight. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML
Today, I wrecked my car on the way to work, all because I could get free food from a restaurant for my team winning a game. My husband suggested it. Now I’m without a car, with massive hospital bills, all for the most expensive fast food. FML
Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML
Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
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Top comments
westoz 24
Well if you did that walk briskly every day the walk would burn off the calories! :D
BurnInDemonFire 39
Eight-mile round trip on foot? Yeah, that junk food will be worked off in no time. If you want, you could ask the grocery store to only sell you healthy food as an added measure.
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Comments (19)
Mungolikecandy 19
So not actually trying to eat healthily then?
childlessmother 16
Suggestion: to keep from craving junk food I actually keep a candy bar in my purse. I never eat it and if I do it’s only a bite
weaboo 12
LOL I don’t see how this helps because you can just take the candy whenever you want and what’s stopping you is self control
onceuponatime456 16
You're NOT trying to be healthy! Not sure what you are doing, but trying to be healthy is NOT what you are doing!
tounces7 28
Sounds like it's working pretty good.
chosha_fml 27
You walked four miles to sabotage your own plans to be healthier?
Duskyb 12
Like most people have said- you made a good decision. If you want the bad stuff bad enough to work for it, you're going to end up with better habits. Someting i did a few years ago to help me reduce my carbs was not to buy sweets or bread ready made. I bought ingredients. If i wanted it badly enough i had to bake it and it became inconvenient to binge on those carbs like I used to. I permanantly changed my eating habits on sweets that way. Good luck! Stick with it.