Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML
Today, my cuckold fantasy became real. I got back home earlier than usual and found my wife being banged by a guy. I waited 10 minutes for him finish before entering the room screaming. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, some woman ran up, hugged me from behind, and called me another dude's name. When she saw my face, she apologised for getting the wrong person, and ran off. Perfectly innocent, right? Nope. My wife is forcing me to sleep in another room until I admit I’m having an affair. FML
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Top comments
alexup24 13
I'd start filing a divorce...
thebaddayblues 3
I hate when that happens..
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Comments (340)
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
Ah bless. You seem like a nice person. Borrow lots of books from the library, go home and attack her with them. And even though its her house, kick her out. You deserve better.
bigdaddy93 8
you shouldnt have left if you are married its community property
marisadc79 0
If you're married it's your house too but forget that. She's a tramp file for divorce.
blackvyper 8
Grow a pair and move out!
misskelskels 0
Well... It is her house!
j_m_k_90 0
You're ******* dumb. Just cause its her house doesn't give her the right to be a cheating ****... I have a feeling in 15...? Years you'll do this yourself and say oh "husbands name" it's my house I can do what I want. But if it was the other way around you'd be pissed if your husband cheated on you right?? Dumb bitches and their double standards. You'll learn one day...
ndnpride88 25
Alot of comments on here are just bashing your problem or makin seem likes it's not a big deal. Get a lawyer and divorce her. After about a year that house would be yours and she'd be sitting in the library not knowing what to do.
AlexBblah 10
Awww, divorce her thats sad :( or do it to her and do the same thing
Jewnut 0
it's your house Top if you Are married
ryggsekk 8
[Eminem] **** that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?! **** slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!! [Dr. Dre] Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit? (What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!) Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady But think about the baby before you get all crazy [Eminem] Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her? Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??! [Dr. Dre] What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?) I'ma kill you ************! [Eminem] Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way? How in the **** you gonna tell this man not to be violent? [Dr. Dre] Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went Been there, done that.. aw **** it... What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at? [gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired]
merko 8
88) That was great!
OHai15 12
lol i love that song. too bad OP isnt eminem....
j_cat187 20
Omg I am inspired.
ryggsekk 8
my comment is a terrible advice :I
smileydancer92 2
Why does your description say that you're about to die???