Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
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Top comments
nycwrestler 17
Sounds like you made him feel awkward, OP. A for effort, though.
EsotericBrent 29
That was his way of saying he loves you too!
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Comments (80)
ratorr2 23
I had a friend like that. Believe me, it doesn't get any better than that down the road. Dump this kid and go find someone with a more mature attitude.
LaLince 40
dump. him. now.
pmadNess 16
Here's the lesson, never tell a man you love him, before he tells you, even if that's what you feel... It seems to make them feel a bit pressured? Just show it, as long as he shows it, through actions. And as long as he makes you feel good and loved, well then...
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I disagree, it's as difficult for a man to say "I love you" for the 1st time or to do anything that implies long commitment. The girl might not be in the same place yet. We’ve seen enough FMLs to prove it. The last I remember is about this guy who proposes to his girlfriend and she pretends not having heard him. OP, I would not dump your boyfriend for this, but explain to him that it was incredibly insensitive on his part. If he still find that hilarious and don’t see the big deal, well then time to ask yourself if his other qualities counterbalance his clear lack of judgement.
pmadNess 16
I've just found this to be true in my own experience, and by a lot of reading. I'm not saying that I'm right, just my opinion based on experience and study...
vesky 4
He reacted in a sporty and funny way. He did not pushed her away or was an ass. He is what he is. A man. My girlfriend would laugh. And then kick me in the nuts. BUT she knows I love her. I do not have to tell her that every hour.
pmadNess 16
I think this was the first time she told him, perhaps. Hopefully no one is expecting to hear I love you every hour of the day! (hahaha)
DjeePee 25
"He is what he is. A man." God, is it possible to be more sexist? Despite what society thinks and teaches to her children, having a penis does NOT mean you lack the capacity to be a sweet, gentle, emotional and loving person.
unhidden 6
I agree, you have to dump him!
Satoaoi 13
that's humor for ya
bexxiiee 11
You probably made him feel awkward... Guys aren't good with lovey-dovey crap like that. My boyfriend would probably have done the same. It's a guy thing. I guess in future, don't be so spontaneously lovey.
charvisioku 22
A guy thing? Nice generalization xD My boyfriend's absolutely fine with this kind of thing; more often than not it's him doing it.
griffkay 2
sounds like it's time for a new BF
Stahrgeyzer 8
Catch the 22:15 train heading towards Mississippi and get off at production. Once you step off of the train, spin counterclockwise ten times, a man will approach you with an envelop containing a pair of keys and five passports. The car will be waiting for you on the other side of the train tracks in a shipping container. Take the car to the nanaimo dock which is seven miles away, from there get on the 6:30 boat heading towards Japan. As soon as you get off the boat you will see a dancing dragon containing seven people, the third one from the front is who you want to talk to. She will give you an apartment and get you started. Good luck and stay safe.
Smartdumbblonde 27
At least he didn't say anything mean or just awkwardly stare at you in response