Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
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Top comments
nycwrestler 17
Sounds like you made him feel awkward, OP. A for effort, though.
EsotericBrent 29
That was his way of saying he loves you too!
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Comments (80)
motor_fml 20
Farts speak louder than burps!
Yongchi 11
That is the best thing I have ever heard. I am not even kidding, I'm going to start using that saying instead of the original.
j_cat187 20
It's true, people tend to pay more attention to my when I scream Yiddish obscenities out my rectum.
DocBastard 40
So you have attachment issues and he has a sense of humour. I see no problem here.
FastidiousPear 6
The problem is how op "spontaneously poured out her heart" as though it were leftover soup. You don't just do that. Especially not to a guy. ESPECIALLY if he's your boyfriend.
WelcomeToAndale 13
It's people like this who give the rest of us males a bad name. Hope you find better luck in the meantime OP, and find someone who truly deserves you.
Enslaved 38
If you say "beer can" with a *British accent, it sounds like you are saying "bacon" with a Jamaican one. Try it. :P
buckdharma 38
now I'm drinking a beer and eating bacon.
perdix 31
Or, "ursine relative*" in an Australian accent. *bear kin.
Catkam623 27
Miss bro ,miss :(. I liked it though.
perdix 31
If you are dating a drunk, spontaneity is going to give you random responses. You have to plan serious talks to happen in those small windows of sobriety that interrupt his alcohol-soaked life. I'm guessing that once you tell him to this sober, he'll run to his favorite pub to celebrate/mourn the news.
billyz77 24
"Never tell anyone outside the family your true feelings again" - Don Corleone The Godfather
TwinChapter 15
Maybe it's not a good idea to spontaneously say things like that? I'm not saying you shouldn't tell your boyfriend that you love him- just that some people feel awkward in these kinds of situations. There are so many people (myself included) who find it extremely difficult to express such intense emotion towards others, so when someone does something like this out of the blue, it makes some people uncomfortable and feel a lot of pressure because they don't know how to reply. Remember, even simple "I love yous" can be hard for some people, so try knowing the comfort zone of your partner emotionally before you pour out your heart. :)
DjeePee 25
But... he's her boyfriend. If he feels awkward when his friggin' girlfriend says that she loves him, why is he in a relationship (with her) in the first place?
TwinChapter 15
I don't think you understand. It's not the fact that it was his girlfriend who said "I love you". I was just saying that some people find it hard to say "I love you" to anyone, even their parents. (I love my parents and all, but I have never been able to say this to them). Furthermore, she didn't simply say "I love you", she went and "poured her heart out to him". That could result in an uncomfortable situation.
billyz77 24
Hey InTheButt (#21), what kind of comment was that? I'm a man and I've never done that. Come on.
robo_thunder 13
Did you pause the movie to tell him all of this?
sarah6786 14
I can't stop trying to picture exactly how this happened. Lol