Anonymous
United States
Chips
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt… into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Dani_Rich
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Double down
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Anonymous
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
anon
Washougal, United States
Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML
AmberKCole
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Cool your boots
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
shit
United States
Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML
Seriously?
Irvine, United States
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
TheIrony
United States
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
a genius
United States
This is lit
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Top comments
pinksplash 0
You smoke. FYL
katelyns 0
Hahaha, dumbass!
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Comments (222)
purpleiscool 0
where are you from? hope you're not from the west coast. DON'T TRASH CALIFORNIA! Especially with your butts and the excessively dry weather and major drought... --- #174-Smoking is the number one contributor to lung cancer, which is also the most preventable cancer out there. If people stopped smoking, there would be a drastic drop in lung cancer cases. And a lot of lung cancer cases, are in operable, casuing a slow and painful death. I know genes can play a role in cancer developement, and so can the sun, but once again, smoking is the leading cause of death in the U.S., not suicides, not AIDS, car accidents; smoking is.
mclaxin1115 0
you ******* deserved it for smoking, dipshit! but hey it's not a crime. not like you meant it.
EataGun 0
You are a fool and most importantly a smoker, thus no one will respect you because you choose to do the most selfish habit a human can partake in. You are killing yourself and murdering those around you. YDI, stop smoking ass clown.
maximus20895 0
your a ******* loser
funnyyy 0
#178 i ******* did and said you were ******** on littering which has NOTHING to do with smoking. so how about you shut the **** up and stop trying to act cool by calling me a retard because really, you make no ******* sense by saying that i didn't understand you and you didn't even backup what you said since i was ******* right about you saying it was littering that was wrong. #179-smoking is selfish.? really.? i would looooove to know how because when most people see smoke they can just walk away from it..not that ******* hard. the people are most likely only harming themselves and to get killed from second hand smoke you have to be around people smoking ALLLL the time.
funnyyy 0
#178 i ******* did and said you were ******** on littering which has NOTHING to do with smoking. so how about you shut the **** up and stop trying to act cool by calling me a retard because really, you make no ******* sense by saying that i didn't understand you and you didn't even backup what you said since i was ******* right about you saying it was littering that was wrong. #179-smoking is selfish.? really.? i would looooove to know how because when most people see smoke they can just walk away from it..not that ******* hard. the people are most likely only harming themselves and to get killed from second hand smoke you have to be around people smoking ALLLL the time.
funnyyy 0
#178 i ******* did and said you were ******** on littering which has NOTHING to do with smoking. so how about you shut the **** up and stop trying to act cool by calling me a retard because really, you make no ******* sense by saying that i didn't understand you and you didn't even backup what you said since i was ******* right about you saying it was littering that was wrong. #179-smoking is selfish.? really.? i would looooove to know how because when most people see smoke they can just walk away from it..not that ******* hard. the people are most likely only harming themselves and to get killed from second hand smoke you have to be around people smoking ALLLL the time.
purpleiscool 0
#181/182/183-OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE RETARDED BECAUSE YOU CAN'T POST ONCE. Dumbshit, did you get a little click happy? And secondhand smoke kills, end of discussion. STFU.
yourfacee 0
my step dad did that..twice. had to go to court and do community service both times. haha!
funnyyy 0
ya but you have to be around it a lottttt to get killed from it and my computers ****** it posts things twice this is my friends. my mom used to work with someone every single day who would smoke in the office with her and she never died from that so obviously it takes a lot to actually get killed from secondhand smoke. and i don't smoke i did before a little but now i don't so don't go saying shit that i smoke and that's why i'm defdending it cause i don't i haven't even smoked two whole packs so no i wasn't addicted to it either.