Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML
Today, while babysitting, the power went off. My little cousin pointed into the dark kitchen behind me and asked, "Who's that man standing there?" FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, my friend showed me a creepy piece of artwork he'd drawn. I laughed and said that it would give me nightmares, meaning it as a compliment. Turns out, this one was in honor of his dead grandmother, who'd raised him. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew and told him he could “say anything” to the nice old lady at the park who gave him candy. He looked her dead in the eye and said, “My aunt says people your age shouldn’t drive anymore.” She glared at me like I'd ran over her cat. FML
Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see, but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML
Today, I tried to bond with my baby nephew by making funny faces at him. He stared at me like I was the most confusing creature he had ever seen, then burst into tears so loud it scared the dog. FML
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Top comments
MeetTheMedic 6
His humor is dead funny.
jerzjay 17
It's a sign.....Get out!
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Comments (51)
The_Mr_Troll 14
First!
jerzjay 17
It's a sign.....Get out!
tranced_ 45
or kill the nephew before he kills You!
ariiewilliams 17
How will OP explain to their relative , that they killed their son
thefastnfuryass 14
If she's a zombie she could just tell him he'll be the one that needs to run away hehehe...
ziya1999 12
Yup, Or make sure someone gets out.
MeetTheMedic 6
His humor is dead funny.
Nickb55 16
He is a killer comedian!
tiernang 21
You really slaughtered that pun.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
And now we're beating a dead horse.
CobraLazerFace 21
But it's time to resurrect the joke!
krooker1 1
I see what you dead there
RedPillSucks 33
Erm... You said bonding time, right? Not bondage? You may want to back away slowly.
EverestMelting 23
First of all, bondage is a type of sex. Secondly, they never said bonding time in the FML. Just coloring together.
poncho55 40
#10, the username/title does say "Bonding Time". Double check the FML before you post a critical response to someone.
StillUsesMyspace 22
10, You can easily participate in bondage without any real sex. It's more of a sex enhancer... not that I would know anything about that *whistles*
RedPillSucks 33
Just a joke, people.
bobbyguy 17
You might want to keep more of an eye on him.
tygerarmy 35
Maybe he tried to give you extra detail because you're awesome?!
Tmas95 14
Maybe he's like the kid in the movie "The Sixth Sense" and he sees dead people.. You are more than likely dead. You should look into that.
FitForFun 11
Either he is plotting to kill you or your fashion sense is pretty.... Dead.
Faddyy6 17
try to dress up nicely and be nice with him.. kids reflects what they see
Rallred32 20
*reflect. Anyway, how does dressing nicely help a child who obviously wants to burn your body and eat your soul? Ok, an overstatement. The child was probably kidding, as I used to do the same. Some people have a dark sense of humor.
JMichael 26
It's not his fault you look like a zombie.