Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I opened a new can of shaving cream. The moment I touched the top, the whole can emptied into my palm, and startled the crap outta me. I'm a whole lot more sympathetic to my first girlfriend now. FML
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML
Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML
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Top comments
turkturkington 13
'Unknowingly' pushed the button? WHAT did you think was going to happen? Ha, poor old man - I have visions of you quietly setting down the shaving cream and joining in with his claims before promptly leaving the shop.
sacrosanct2 23
The world is ending!
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Comments (47)
RBntM 10
Why is this an FML?
ICastillo 25
That's when you just put the shaving cream down and slowly walk away like nothing ever happened.
Needafarm 22
Poor old man sounds like Chicken Little's Demented old Great Grandfather.
one_of_a_kind 5
At least he didn't know it was you
lambda_fml 40
I hope you apologized.
danny_uk_555 3
Brilliant - just imagining the situation has made me laugh
texas_redneck88 10
That is pretty damn funny though, I got a laugh out of it
amerikaninfidel 2
Just walk away sir, walk away.
KiddNYC1O 22
You have a whole shaving cream isle?? Lol Pretty sure that's the old guy's FML.
jaredofmo 22
Hey, you get off Scott-free!