Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
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Top comments
boopityboppity 11
Perhaps he lent it to a friend? Or it's just a really big coincidence? Or... Yeah, he cheated on you. FYL.
YOUbeTROLLIN 0
if the room was dark you could've knocked out the girl he was with and just take her spot.
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Comments (212)
KurouTenshi 0
"Today, I was having sex with this girl I met at a party that my girlfriend dragged me to last night. when she came to, she didn't want to join or make me a sammich, instead she just played dead and texted me. FML." or "Today, I lost my phone at a party and went to go find it I came across a locked room--the only room my girlfriend could be in--that had sex noises emanating from it. FML" either or, really.
mezsed 0
i agree.
silviam 7
well what u did?
alex1432 9
perdix, you never disappint me lol
perdix 31
Well, if you hadn't slipped in blue M&M's where my Viagra ought to have been, I might have been able to jack up your disappointment all the way up to boredom.
thatfeelsright 0
no 3 some??=
sflomb 18
oh god...lol
sexyblonde78 0
um I hope that u dumped his ass! u shud cuz trust me ur probably way to good for that fake ass cheater!
willwth95 0
if his girl friend was at the same party why would he even think of cheating? sounds a bit fake!
GearsFan56 1
number 1 is right
RRC_fml 0
kick his ass
Ripunzel 0
omge that's so sad, it's time to wip out the shotgun and kill the both of them and claim insanity :)
kellan1100 0
lol Agreeded!!!!!