Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed and took the pain medicine that the oral surgeon prescribed for me before bed. The pain actually did go away for the most part, until my stomach decided to betray me and make me throw up, forcing my jaw to open more than it could after surgery. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML
Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML
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Top comments
Domonator 16
Yes, just open wide ... before you bite down.
Domonator 16
Actually, no sucking for him...
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Comments (199)
Domonator 16
Yes, just open wide ... before you bite down.
crazycornn 0
auuuhhhh! that made me hurt just reading it! Dx lol
StoryOfTheYear 15
I've always wondered what you do if you get your dick chomped off while getting a bj, seriously, you are at their mercy
xXSc3n1cXx 0
AWWWWW YOU CHANGED YOUR PIC!!!! the old "get to the choppa!" was better.
StoryOfTheYear 15
yo what's wrong with my face :) I know I'm not the coolest looking guy around, I just wanted y'all to know what I looks like :D thx for teh compliment tho
xXSc3n1cXx 0
thts you? hmm. id say ur. sexy, just to make you happies, but im a dude. not gay.
StoryOfTheYear 15
no no, I know i'm not hot, that's why I work on humor
Ms_Jessie22 8
I second "Scenic's" statement, you are totally sexy. (from what i can see) And I'm a girl so I can say that lol. :)
crazytrick11 0
omg I luv story of the year!! I just went to their concert and it was amazing lol but I'm diggin the new pic!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
lol crazy, I thought you were talking sbout me by my profile name, then I saw band and I'm like o yeh :P they're a dec, but I prefer simple plan, we the kings, and every avenue (if you've heard of them)
xXSc3n1cXx 0
lolz. very few people who have seen my username understand what it means. its the most original thing i can think of, and your are very intelligent and pretty, number....uhm...crap... you know who you are.
crazytrick11 0
omg lol that's funny but yeah i've heard of them but sick puppies are definitely the best!!
ALegitNinja 0
Story, I've wondered too, and all I could picture was bleeding. Lots and lots of bleeding.
deathcab7 0
best bands ever are obviously death cab for cutie (:, everclear, radiohead, the shins, and blind pilof. i could go on forever about music. storyoftheyear is a decent band also!
cheerloveyou 0
thats kinky. ha ha ha.
akkimber 0
well……does it?
Person1233 13
He is looking out for you. Maybe you could use some "ice cream," to soothe the pain ;D
TripleJumpMan 0
haha yea and maybe some "whiped cream" wouldn't hurt
doink 0
"Advil" would help, too.
xXSc3n1cXx 0
wtf lol you dont get it do you?
doink 0
wtf lol you don't get sarcasm do you?
BrookeTrueblood 0
#49 fail
goatfeathers 1
Oh the irony. doink speaks of not seeing sarcasm, while he himself cannot. Rich.
xXSc3n1cXx 0
.......?????? why do I fail? srsly, they were talkng about ****, amd shes just like " Advil" yu kno whut i mean?
xXSc3n1cXx 0
i get the sarcasm part, but the way it was stated kind of sounded like you didnt exactly understand what they wre tlking about. but nevermind. sorry.
CyrusTheBlue 0
It was probably a joke. Stop being such a baby.
PsychoMerk 0
your bf's got humor xD but yeah... teeth prevent that? >_> everyone's been getting their teeth removed... can you pawn those now? 0_o
topbanana 0
oo I wish you could pawn teeth! that would be kinda sick.. speaking of pawn shops, I'm gonna have the first pawn shop on wheels just saying....
PsychoMerk 0
I will gladly give up my teeth :p
xXSc3n1cXx 0
Why? you look beautiful now. besides, you would look old. no chewing. no hard food.
epoh_fml 0
not true. my daughter's abuelita is 87 and has no teeth. That woman can eat corn on the cob. She just sort of gnaws it or something :)
PsychoMerk 0
aww thank you Scenic :) n haha that abuelita sounds cool xD I know Ima be gnawing on seeds like a gerbil my whole life :3
OmgSairaWtf 0
hahaha dick sucker!!!! oh well. that sucks :/
kenz323 0
this is totally a copy of another recent fml. said pretty much the exact same thing.
Sirin_fml 47
Do you have a link to that FML, please?
spacekid 0
Grrrr ;)
madskillz3088 0
give him the gumm3r!!! lol
eatthefuckingtoa 0
He sounds hilairious (; Stop your bitchin'.