Today, I found out that my brother buys audiobooks only to play them on "mute" so that he can tell everyone that he read them later and flaunt the proof. The rest of my family think he is a genius for reading War and Peace in two days and won't listen to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML
Today, my brother inherited a book from our grandmother that, in his ignorance, he donated to a charity shop because he’s “not a big reader”. I raced to buy it back, but someone had already bought it. The book in question: a mint condition, 1954 first edition Lord of the Rings, valued at £5000. FML
Today, I found out my mother only uses two settings for volume on her laptop: maximum volume or completely quiet. She'll play it over whatever other people are doing, and then get mad when they tell her to turn it down. FML
Today, I tried to impress coworkers by saying I “don’t really watch TV” because I mostly read books. Unfortunately, someone immediately asked what I’d been reading lately, and the only honest answer was celebrity memoirs and conspiracy theory forum posts online at 2 a.m. FML
Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML
Today, after meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I found out that he, his sister, and their father enjoy talking loudly over the person who is currently talking, because what anyone else says is not worth listening to. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML
Today, I was in Barnes & Noble and some asshole was walking around with his phone on speaker to hear the baseball game. That asshole was my husband. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
Why not just ask him a question of a huge plot point? Even better, talk about it and say something wrong. If he agrees, point out you were lying and it really said something else. He's missing out on wonderful literature. Make him regret it!
Tarah_rox 12
Oh well OP! It will show through in his work the little knowledge he has of the book. Karma, his fault.
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Comments (36)
GhostFox 34
I think that the reason OP is upset about this, is that it sounds like her family is making comparisons between her and her "genius" brother that are derogatory toward her.
mmelinita94 14
Quiz him !
wegetrz 14
Your brother is an idiot.
hunt3009 16
I wouldn't say anything, just wait until someone asks him what the book was all about, then, when he says he doesn't know or forgot, then they'll find him out.
nider 19
That's pretty dumb, if he just wants the "proof", he doesn't even need to bother playing it on mute, he can just mark it as played. Same effect in the end.
dragoongirl90 34
It's not even "reading" to listen to an audio book.
Ramsdell97 12
Kikibat?
catca43 2
the idiots wasting his money
gotbeer 7
why dont you read War and Peace perhaps you will learn on how to stop bitching
rachgirl6 15
Why not ask questions about the book, he won't be able to answer them