Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
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Top comments
amykillswitch 0
why would you use money. take your underwear off and use those. then throw them in the garbage. so what if you lose a pair of undies and have to go commando all day? at least you would have had money to go buy some more.
McButterpants 0
I prefer to wipe with hundreds but that's me..
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Comments (312)
unibrowicorn 0
I think i just wouldnt wipe...
silverstar210 0
ewwww who r u? ewww who would do that unless ur homeless
shali14 0
dude that is just gross! Yu weirdo
emodude44 0
If I was stuck in a bathroom with no toilet paper and the options to A: Wipe with money or B: Not wipe for now but find a bathroom where I could? I'd choose B.
6tori6 5
253- are you nine?....
Phlecks 0
High roller. I wipe with quarters.
unibrowicorn 0
I think i just wouldnt wipe...
blazerbum 0
no way 2 bills can clean up explosive diarrhea, I use half a roll of toilet paper for that
theoldGP 0
#6 that's awesomeeeee lmao. i've never gone commando. shall i try it one day? maybe =]
wasted0087 0
It's mighty fun, also easy to moon :)
Jdeluxh 12
I did. Coincidentally it was also the first time I got pantsed.
vt_mruhlin 0
Really, it would probably be more sanitary to just not wipe your ass. Money moves through so many hands (and evidently asses), that it gets pretty gross.
Luunatic 13
agreed
themixedt4pe 0
Actually, if there's an empty stall next to you (if there isn't, you can wait) that has the toilet paper dispenser on the wall close to you, you can just reach under the divider and get some toilet paper. So unless it really was an impossible situation, you totally deserve losing $10 for not being smarter to find an alternative.
effliffe 0
I agree with #8, just wait till nobody's there and sneak over to the next stall.
shali14 0
or just ask someone in there to give Yu a lot of toilet paper
Etc80 0
# 16 Ummm... And you don't think walking around with explosive diarrhea in your ass all day would get gross??? I had a similar problem once. I used my socks....
xkaokaox 0
thats why you always look before you sit! can't you wipe your ass with the toilet seat cover? I never go to the bathroom without one of those... OR. you could open your mouth and ask somebody to hand you some toilet paper. One time I was in a public bathroom and a hand reached out from underneath the stall and asked me for some lol.