Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
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Top comments
amykillswitch 0
why would you use money. take your underwear off and use those. then throw them in the garbage. so what if you lose a pair of undies and have to go commando all day? at least you would have had money to go buy some more.
McButterpants 0
I prefer to wipe with hundreds but that's me..
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Comments (312)
5bye7 0
use socks
xkaokaox 0
Yea #31 is right, I would have used my sock xD
wyltk55 2
yep, socks will do the trick just fine
zooauthor7 0
Maybe he wasn't wearing socks? I know he was at work, but still..
ronniett 0
Yes, use your socks, al tough the dollar aint that much any more.
MaddieMonster 0
i'm with the whole sock idea... or be smart and check ahead. well, at least know you know to check next time!
ohreally123 0
That's why you always check first. Also, that's disgusting. Money is the dirtiest thing. Oh, and there are always the toilet seat covers, you could use them too [unless they're out].
bam123 0
you should have asked someone to hand you some from the next stall
shananigans 0
I would've just used my underwear and then gone commando (or socks if you were wearing any). Could've gone out and bought some five dollar panties at Ross or something if you would be really uncomfortable. Kudos on only having to use two bills though, I would've used up half a roll...
ilaughatfmls 0
your butt is only worth $10? that's sad...
ohreally123 0
if it's a single bathroom with no stalls, then there would be paper towels to dry your hands on. Again, something else to use.
skyttlz 32
OP. said they were out of paper towels