Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
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Top comments
instrumentals 0
holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.
dantheman931 0
YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.
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Comments (310)
supercoolperson 0
You know, some teenagers aren't ALLOWED to close their door. I'm not. >.<
shadow21_fml 0
This is ridiculous... and hilarious! Step dad= creepy win
iheartmusic18 0
I hate that everyone automatically assumes its a guy...it could possibly have been a girl. I mean, it didn't use any male oriented sexual slang or anything.... BTW when you enter FML it asks if you are male or female...so why doesn't that show up here? And P.S. I feel sorry for whoever wrote this, but I mean, I totally understand, I can barely see without my glasses or contacts. And yeah, maybe they don't have a lock or they thought their parents weren't home.
LionLike 0
HAHAHA! That was one of the funniest ones Ive heard. I have read it like five times today.
lebreex 0
Are you a guy or a girl... O_o
liinkinparkfan97 34
It clearly shows that OP is a girl.
Oriina 0
Step-father and son/daughter bonding time! Though, really .. close your door next time.
sloanchar 0
That was comedy gold.
xxlindseyxx 0
#19 is amazing. I almost died laughing.
hahayou12345 0
HAHA that is shit embarrassing. But then again, always always remember to close your door, and lock it! Gosh.
taquito6 0
that's sick dude.. .. really sick... not you masturbating but someone watching you doing it...