Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
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Top comments
instrumentals 0
holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.
dantheman931 0
YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.
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Comments (310)
vballbabbyy 0
hahahahaha. that suckss
NoBounceNoPlay 0
"Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open…" Doesn't that sound a little odd to you, sir? Just a little? haha
thegoodlifeNOT 0
BAHAHAHAH you think you would stop after you saw something..awkward...
BabyHuey 0
So.....He finished you off then!?
Dhamy 0
LMFAO! Close your damn door!
audiogasmic 0
HAHAHAHAHHAHAH that's what you get for not closing the door...hahahahahahahaha
SP63_fml 0
Two solutions 1. Get a girl 2. Close the damn door Simple as that
liinkinparkfan97 34
Boy*
kiripsan 0
Learn to close the door. Seriously.
tomilalala 0
Funniest. FML. EVER.
rukusrazor 0
His / her **** / pussy must be super ugly if he / she takes their glasses of to **********.