Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
The tradition of eating the top tier on the first anniversary is ridiculous. We tried that, and the cake was as moist as an 80 year old pussy. You should thank him for saving you from eating that.
MarineWifey88 3
My husband spent our first anniversary in Iraq. we didn't get to spend an anniversary together until our 4th anniversary and by then, we were scared of the cake and threw it out.
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Comments (187)
sivuplay 0
wow, i wouldnt eat ANYTHING thats been sitting in the fridge/freezer for a year... thats just nasty
ulicksam 0
It was nasty anyway. And if you were looking forward to celebrating your anniversary, drunk-nasty-cake-eating shouldn't change your mind.
FancyKnickers_fml 0
That cake was a lie.
NoWaySick 0
^win
shinydragonmist 0
you should bake him another cake but this time bake cheese, ketchup, mustard, pepper, salt, vinegar, frog legs, fish, mayo, and amchovies in to it then drizzle beer over ot and make sure that the cakes base is chocalate with sytaewberry frosting all over it. and make him eat the whole thing. >:-)
ThexForgotten 0
interesting cake...lol
thezaincan 0
LMAO this was a wonderful comment.
Jizwold 0
ya then she can get beaten into a coma
izzey 1
what would possess you to eat a year old cake, especially wedding cake which isn't even nice....
monnanon 14
It should be fine tbh, its a smiliar method to making an xmas fruitcake. Apparently they are perfectly fine to eat after a year even if they are just in a sealed tin.
CTVrhythmguitari 8
haha that sucks, but being around drunk people is hilarious xD
mandoalba 5
that is ******* nasty it's all old and nasty naw
CloudofN9ne 0
i would actually say u deserve it because getting married to such an abrasive and drunk idiot would be your fault
minktheshrink 0
agreed!
RKD 23
What a douchious thing for him to do! Know how you feel, I just had my truck stolen with my bible in it that my mother gave me before she died-the same bible my grandmother lovingly ironed the pages out when it got wet once! Just try to remember it was the love you felt that day that made it special, not the cake itself. Hugs to you!